We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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