I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
