so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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