Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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