What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
