i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
