he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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