I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
well you can't waste a boner
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
