this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize