Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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