He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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