I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
