He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
