i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
