I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
