I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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