At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
