big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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