kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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