I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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