i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
