Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
