Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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