yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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