proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize