Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm gonna fight the coyote
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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