Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I did not marry a roomba.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
