You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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