Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
