he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
