Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
