I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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