i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
