is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize