Christians are straight up FREAKS
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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