i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize