You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
