In the future we'll all be gay
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
