I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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