You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
