hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
