I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
