the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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