That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
