I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
