Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
