Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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