New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
