Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize