I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
