I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
