i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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