i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
