Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
