I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
