Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I pour the whiskey from now on
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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