The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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