can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
