i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
