told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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