You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
