Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
