So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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