Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
