You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize