I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
