So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I am naked and annoyed.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
