ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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