I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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