Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
