We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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