Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
