I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Randomize
