Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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