why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
