You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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