Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize