They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
