I will die if light touches me.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
