i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
